Glory Holes and Tumbleweed
Title: Glory Holes and Tumbleweeds
Author: atypicalsnowman
Rating: R
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.
Word Count: 1,125
Summary: Harry and Severus meet an interesting character on their trip.
A/N: Written during my wonderfully fun road trip with thesewarmstars. Thanks to WhiteCotton for the beta and Brit pic. thesewarmstars and I actually met this person today and I am only exaggerating a tiny bit in his description. He begged to be drabbled. Sequel by thesewarmstars can be found here and by WhiteCotton here and here.




“It’s fucking hot!” Harry exclaimed as he unbuttoned yet another button on his shirt.

“Don’t stand there in your white cotton shirt and short pants and tell me that it’s hot, Potter,” Severus said with what was at least twice his usual amount of snark. Why did no one inform them that Texas in the summer was actually the second layer of hell?

“No one told you to wear wool in the summer, Severus. Who wears wool in the summer?!” Harry shouted, now beginning to fan himself with his open buttoned shirt, the white t-shirt he was wearing underneath damp and sticking to his skin.

Severus grumbled something about their guide being tardy in meeting them and made to take out his wand, only at the last moment remembering to leave it in his pocket and look at his watch.

“That slack-jawed, inbred, moron of a cowboy-“ Severus snarked as he began to pace, trying to create an artificial breeze. “Gun-happy, strutting-“ he stopped when a handsome, slender man with dirty-blond hair walked up to them. Severus looked the man over then turned minutely to witness Harry’s reaction to seeing this person.

He was dressed in a red sleeveless shirt with a dark red belt and dark blue jeans. Completing this amazing ensemble were a pair of red, leather boots whose heels clacked noisily as he approached. He tossed his hair back in the breeze that blew by, seemingly just for him, as he flashed a smile. His smile, Severus decided, was his only lacking physical trait. He had a missing molar that was more than obvious and set back an otherwise traditionally handsome man, Severus begrudgingly acknowledged.

Severus was tempted to ask Harry out of the corner of his mouth if Gilderoy Lockhart had a twin brother who ran away to Texas but, at the look on Harry’s face, he decided not to.

Harry appeared to be barely restraining a laugh and Severus knocked him in the ribs to assure himself that Harry would not be insulting their guide.

“We-ll,” the man drawled, and Harry began to snicker again. “Severus and Harry?” At their nods, he continued. “Aren’t you just a tall drink of water,” he said, looking Severus up and down before turning to Harry. “And you! Oh, just look at you! Aren’t you the cutest thing?” he said before holding Harry’s face by his chin then running his hands down his shoulders.

Severus moved quickly to rescue Harry from this fiend, but Harry just brushed the man off and cleared his throat.

“Well, anyway, hello again. My name is Lee and I’ll be guiding you around the city, showing you all the hottest places. Oh, but honestly the hottest place this summer is my house… I. Am. Serious.”

Severus lifted an eyebrow at the flamboyancy of the man in front of him, but again said nothing, instead trying to deflect his attention from Harry, who had begun to snicker again quietly.

“Well, look you two. I can show you all the great bars for us girls-“ Severus’ eyes went wide and he had a death grip on his wand. “But the real scene is at my place. David Bowie is going to come by tonight. Ugh, he’s such a bitch though. Ever since he got married he’s no fun at all.” He sighed and ran a hand through his perfect blond hair, which only irritated Severus further. “Anyway, it should be better than last night. Boy George showed up and decided to play House DJ. Ugh, that guy doesn’t know when to quit.”

Severus remained outwardly calm, but was actually a bit intrigued by the chance of meeting David Bowie. He’d adored the man in his youth and had always considered himself a fan. But the thought of spending another moment in this man’s company made him reconsider even meeting one of his idols.

“You know David Bowie?” Severus heard Harry ask before watching his lover’s eyes go impossibly wide.

“Pu-lease,” Lee said, letting his hand loosely fall to the side. “That bitch is sleeping in my guest room.”

Harry’s eyes lit up but he did not allow himself to smile, instead turning to Severus and offering a half-hearted grin.

Severus sighed.

Lee began to say something but was interrupted by the sound of ‘Changes’ coming from his pocket. “Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have lent that bitch my cell phone! I’ll be right back, you guys.”

Severus assured himself Lee was out of hearing distance before turning to Harry. Harry, however, erupted with laughter as soon as his eyes were upon him.

“Oh, God. That guy is so gay…”

Severus smirked but did not address the fact that homosexuality was not gauged in degrees.

“How gay is he, Potter?” he asked, deciding to play along.

Harry chuckled for a moment before saying, “He’s so gay he put a glory hole in the Hogwarts bathroom.”

Severus laughed despite himself, then shot back, “That’s gay? Pity. I’ll have to cover the one I have in the potions classroom.”

“Ha!” Harry guffawed before clasping his hands over his mouth, just as Lee was walking back towards them.

“Okay, girls, are you in or are you out? I make a mean pina colada!” Lee said, smiling at the two of them.

Severus said, “Unfortunately, I have a great deal of business I must attend to. I’m afraid we will have to decline your offer.”

Lee looked genuinely disappointed. “Well, maybe you could just come for a while? Or, what about you?” he asked Harry. “Would you like to come for a little while? Meet David?”

Harry opened his mouth to answer, then slapped his jaw shut. He turned to Severus before looking down to study a passing tumbleweed. Lee looked over to Severus, confused, but said nothing.

Severus sighed once again.

“Harry, if you’d like to go to the party, then you should go. I’m going to be busy for most of the night regardless.”

Harry’s eyes lit up in hope and Severus watched as he searched his face for the truth. He inwardly smiled as he realized that only Harry knew when he was being honest.

Harry smiled and kissed Severus tenderly before turning back to Lee. “Sounds great! What time should we go?”

“Well, why don’t you just come with me? You can hang out with David and keep him out of my hair while I set up.”

“Fantastic!” Harry exclaimed before running off with Lee, barely remembering to wave goodbye to Severus.

“Oh, and that shirt is just sticking to you, Harry. Why don’t you take it off?”

Severus watched with wide eyes as Harry did just that, his jaw clenching as he saw Lee unabashedly staring at Harry’s perfect arse.